(This is good!)
I don't need any reminders that I'm getting old. I'm reminded every day when I can't remember what happened an hour ago, what I went into a room for, or call one of my kids by the wrong name. I used to be able to remember details from years ago, now I'm lucky if I can remember my own birth date.
If all that's not enough, the physical signs are starting to crop up-the tiny wrinkles and the body aches. I sometimes hurt in random places and have absolutely no explanation why. I get phantom pains that show up and go away just at quickly as they appeared, leaving me thinking that I am being prepared for something...maybe training for bigger aches and pains down the road.
Every now and then though, something happens that gives me just a glimmer of hope. Like yesterday morning when I woke up blind in one eye.
Doesn't sound like something that would pep me up, does it? Well, that's the way it worked out.
I got up at the normal time and stumbled to the bathroom, only banging into the wall once in the process, which was when I heard a strange tinkling sound. I immediately disregarded this sound because I do well just to find my way around the house at 5 a.m., and have no hope of solving any mysteries at such an early hour.
It was when I was exiting the bathroom that I discovered that my right eye had gone all wee-wonky. everything seemed very far away and fuzzy and, try as I might, I could not get that eye to focus.
"What now!?" I muttered to myself. Wasn't it enough that I had already been doomed to bifocals? Now this? I blinked the eye repeatedly, hoping to get some semblance of normal operation. I went through coffee-making and tuning in the weather channel on television using my good eye and a fair amount of yelling.
I learned that walking around with one eye closed can make you a little seasick and noted that if I kept my right eye half open the nausea abated, but caused the right eye to twitch uncontrollably.
Once I managed to find some form of function with one good eye and one fuzzy one, the morbid thoughts started to creep in. What was all this about, anyway? A symptom of a brain tumor? The beginnings of a cataract? No matter how I tried to focus on the weather, my thoughts were inexorably drawn to my mortality.
The next thing I knew I was thinking about all the things I was going to miss when this bad eye ultimately killed me- because I am a pessimist by nature and had convinced myself in the space of less than 10 minutes that I was dying. It was optical cancer or some never-heard- of rare and exotic disease that was causing this early symptom, and I would never see my grandkids or take that trip to Ireland that I've been planning. A great sadness set in when I came to the realization that my days were now of lesser number than they were yesterday. Now I had an inkling of what my future would be... and it was short.
But I still had to go to work.
So I set about getting ready; ironing my clothes, hunting for my shoes, waking up the kids and trying not to get choked up knowing that I would ultimately have to tell them that the old lady had one foot in the grave.
I made my way to the bathroom for my shower and it was then that I found the cause of the strange tinkling sound that I had heard earlier. There was what appeared to be a small rectangular piece of glass lying on the floor by the bathroom door. I squinted at it with my good eye trying to determine what it was and where it came from. It was only when I got down on my knees by the toilet and picked it up that I let out a hoop of relief. It was the right lens to my glasses. I guess when I smacked into the wall in my sleepy stupor I did it with enough force to pop the lens out.
Just to make sure, I reached for my glasses, where they sat faithfully on the bridge of my nose, and when my finger went right through the frame and I poked myself firmly in the eye, I knew I had solved the mystery and my heart soared.
Maybe I will see my grandkids. Maybe I will see Ireland. For the time being I was just rejoicing in the fact that I could see at all!!!
This story came from the "After the chores" section of COUNTRYSIDE Mag., written by CJ Mouser. I got my usual bi-monthly mag. one day and I was sitting reading this story to Craig, not something I usually do. We sat and laughed nearly thru the whole story... the wee-wonky eye, Ha! Maybe Craig could relate to the one eye thing but we can all related to the crazy thoughts that come into our heads sometimes.
I just wanted to share this story and even tho I've had it now for prob. a couple of years now, I still laught when I read it. Hope you liked it.
Just for laughs