Thursday, June 9, 2011

Confessions of a Hospitality Hater...a great post I found

So, I found this blog post called, "Confessions of a Hospitality Hater" and I really related to it.  Not because I hate being hospitable, I looooove the thought of it!  I love people who have the gift of hospitality.  Some people just make you feel so special,  just like you're at home!!!  BUT...I am going to share a secret with you.  It's a secret that only a few people know about me.  Most would not guess it...well I don't think they would or maybe they know and they're just too nice to let on that they do, ha!  Okay, here goes...hospitality for guests just stresses me out!!!  Oh, yes.  I'ts true.  It's really an issue of perfectionism.  You think to yourself: What should I cook, I can't cook, there's nothing to cook, the house is a mess, or the house will get messy, I don't want to, I have so much to do, I don't have time, or maybe you're just thinking that on some other day all the conditions will be better for entertaining...excuses, nothing but excuses. That perfect day will never come.  Oh, I can think of a million excuses when I am afraid of something or when I would rather be my elusive, hermit self.  I am an introvert who loves the peace and quiet solitude of life and the older I get, it seems the more introverted I become.  Guess what?  I married and extrovert, go figure.  How is it Abba works that way?  I guess He gives us the opposites because He knows just how to make us whole even though it often seems to be just plain annoying...can I say that?  Ya, let's just be real.

 Anywho, back to the reason for this post.  We have people in our home at least every other Shabbat, you'd think by now I wouldn't even think twice about it!  I have struggled with wanting to be a good hostess for about...forever!  I want to be a wonderful hostess. I want to be calm and cool, relaxed and inviting at the drop of a hat.   I want to be gracious and have hospitality oozing from my apron strings.  I want to have the gift of great cooking and provide an atmosphere that just invites you to sit and chat.  But even though my heart longs to be Proverbs 31 woman of the year...there's the dreaded introvert inside me who has a grip on nearly every fiber of my being and it says, "You need some peace and quiet" or "you're really too busy to take the time for this, you know, so maybe they could come another day."  And there's that twinge of general discomfort knowing people are coming and things aren't just right (as if they ever are, ha!)...and now I have to make things that should be tasty and creative...aaahhhh!!   The introvert part of me likes solitude.  It likes life without strife, without drama, without pain.  But you know what they pain, NO GAIN!

So the reason for this confession?  The blog post: "Confessions of a Hospitality hater                                        I so appreciated reading this post (from InCourage blog) and learning that Abba has created people who are like me.  It makes me know that while people like me of coarse aren't perfect, we do have purpose and that life is about balance.  I think to some degree we all struggle to find balance so as not to tip the scale too far in one direction.  It is very easy for me to just bypass all the things in life that I'm afraid of and enjoy my very small world but I am learning that in doing that we just end up excluding relationships from our lives.

I am content, or perhaps I should say, "becoming content" with the way I am created, however, I am still in search of the balance that will make my life everything it is created for but in the mean time, confession is good for our souls and so I am openly confessing what I see as a short coming.  My aversion or fear or whatever it's called to entertaining guests.   Can I just say here that I don't like disclosure very much.

I found another site from reading the post"Confessions..." and it is called: "The Reluctant Entertainer
It's a fun site to look at for people like me or maybe just anyone who wants to do better at being hospitable.  It has things about how to entertain stress free:)  I would like to do that, I said smiling.  She also has"The Reluctant Entertainer's Ten Commandments of Hospitality"
which I kinda liked too.  It's good to have written reminders so we don't fall back into bad habits like running down the street screaming and pulling your hair when your husband says, "That really nice family is coming over for dinner on Friday evening, honey and they may be spending the night too!"

So thanks to Rambling Heather for writing such an inspiring post.  It gives me hope that  I can have a heart blessed with genuine, stress free hospitality just for the sheer joy of doing it, not for what it should look like to others (it never looks like Martha Stewart did it) but for what it is, an opportunity to share friendship and love.

Have a blessed day,

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