The Light of YHWH's Love...Grandma

I miss you Grandma.


Today it's been 3 years since you've been gone.  The time has somehow seemed to go quickly.  I think about you often and I'm sad that you're not here.  I'm sad that you didn't get to meet Gracie Elizabeth who just turned 1 a few days ago, you would of loved watching her run around playing.  I'm sad you're not here to talk to and ask questions to so that you could remind me of stories about you and Grandpa and me.  I'm just sad that you can't be here with me.

Memories


I sat here yesterday and I thought about you.  I thought about how after Mom left Dad when I was just a baby, Dad got a call that Mom couldn't take care of me and how you and my Dad jumped into the car and drove to Kansas City to get me and bring me home.  I thought about how you told me that you prayed for a little girl but you couldn't have any more children so God gave me to you to raise.  I thought about how much I knew you and Grandpa loved me...I cried.

I thought about how blessed I was to have people in my life who loved me as much as you and Grandpa and I was so thankful and in awe of the way YHWH has taken care of me.  It's a long story, really, but I look back and all the pieces of my life's puzzle have been carefully and loving laid in place by Abba and you were one of the main pieces of that puzzle.  Your memory is woven into the fabric of my soul, I cannot be separated from you.  
1Sam. 20:42 ...Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever...

Thankfulness 


While I'm sad that you can't be here with me, I am thankful.  I am thankful that you're not in pain any more and that you're not lonely now.  I'm thankful that you don't have to miss Grandpa any more.  I am thankful for your life and for the innumerable things that because of you, I now understand.  I'm thankful for the amazing love you gave me even when I so often didn't deserve it.    I'm thankful that you loved my kids as much as you loved me.  I'm thankful that you were my Grandma.  I'm thankful for things about you that I really can't even express.

Goodbye...Only For a Time


With the few short words that I have written above, I will leave you now but it is only for a short time that I do because you'll always be in my heart.  If I had no hope of being in your presence again, I would be broken.  That hope that we have been given is a light to me.  It flickers off in the distance but it's not so far that I cannot see it.
John 1:5  And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

In life, you surely were the light of Abba's love to me.  I learned of the love that He had for me through the love you gave.  Truly.

To my Grandma, Elizabeth Ann, I love you and I miss you.  Thank you for everything...everything.

Thank you Abba for her.

1/23/2012

Remember

Remembering grandma Betty

12/14/1924-01/23/2009

Precious in the sight of YHVH is the death of His saints.

Ps.116:15

Teach us to number our days, and let us bring our heart to wisdom.

Ps. 90:12

I had planned to have a meal last Sunday to remember the anniversary of Grandma’s death but we had a new addition to our family just a few days before (Thank you Abba!) and things were a little hectic so I decided it best to set it aside for the time being.  I still wanted to do something to honor her memory but wasn’t quite sure what, so, this is what I came up with…A blog post.

I want to say that I haven’t forgotten my Grandmother and I still miss her.  Of the many, many blessings Abba has given me, she was one of the biggest and the best.  I know it’s easy to look back and think good things about people who are no longer with us but quite surely she helped mold my life by her prayers over me and her unending love.  My Grandma was a major part of my world. 

It is interesting to consider how Abba does the things He does.  What I mean is, during the last few years of my Grandma’s life she was confined to her bed and near the end she couldn’t even feed herself her own meals.  She needed help with everything.  She had all her wits about her though.  That was one thing she told us she always asked Abba for…she just wanted to be able to think clearly, and He gave her that gift.  But the wildest thing is even though she needed so much, somehow near the end, I realized that it was she that was blessing me and not so much me who was blessing her.  When I look back on that it amazes me that Abba is able to give something back to you just because you made a little effort to do good for Him and His people.

Her life and death made me recognize some things in me that Abba needed (and is still working on) to change.  Fear was and sometimes still is a BIG one for me.  Abba let me see how fear hinders the path that He has laid before us.  Fear is a lack of Faith in His word and His plan for us and I had to ask Him to forgive me for that.  Then I was able to understand the true rest that He speaks of.  Rest in trusting all that He says is true and not just true for a time but TRUE FOR ALL TIME…scripture says:

He hath remembered his covenant forever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.

Ps. 105:12

If a generation is even just 40 years, a thousand generations can be no less than 40,000 years…so, His word is pretty much forever in earthly terms!

So, just as in life, my Grandma blessed me, her death also brought blessing of understanding my Heavenly Father and the awesomeness and depth of the kind of relationship Abba offers us as we learn to walk with Him in His Way.

Grandma truly did live the life of Jobe, especially in her last few years.  She was an inspiration as she lived in her faith to Abba’s word.  She chose to trust Him no matter how her body failed her, when many others may have given up because a healing didn’t come.

When things are going rough and when I am afraid, I remember her and how she held on to her trust in Abba and it helps me to try and do the same.  Thank you Abba for that example in my life.  Thank you for sending someone for me who would love me so wholeheartedly as Grandma did. 

So, I remember (celebrate) her life and her death as she has moved from this life and stepped into her eternal home with the ONE who created all things…

I miss you, love you, and will always give thanks for you

Grandma.

I leave you with one of her favorite scriptures from the book of Jobe:

After this body is destroyed, yet in my flesh shall I see Elohiem.

Job 19:26

Grandma Betty

If there is one thing I have learned since Grandma passed away it is the harsh finality of her not being here for me to speak with. If I told you one thing to always be mindful of in your relationships, it would be to remember that as the scripture reminds us, "our lives are like a vapour of smoke, here today and gone tomorrow." We do not know the number of our days. Love the ones Yah has given you to love with everything you have and you will NEVER regret that.

Life flies past us each day. Be certain of the path you are choosing today and you will not end up some place you shouldn't be tomorrow. There is only one sure path.

I look forward to the day when I get to see grandma face to face again. Until then, I learn to wait.

Sharin' my thoughts

Grandma Betty

My Grandma passed away a few months ago. She and my Grandpa raised me from 6 months of age. She was 84 years old when she passed. I miss her very much. I really could never imagine what life would be like without her. I wasn't sure how I could live without her but I knew that a MAJOR part of my life would be gone and I would be left to try hold my life together without the woman who was always there for me, who always, always loved me no matter what. I miss her.

After she passed away, I was so much in despair. I was reading in the scriptures because the LORD says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." I began to read in the book of II Samuel 1:1-27 (not for any particular reason, in fact it had been quite a while since I had read anything from the book of Samuel) and the story there was about David and his loss of Johnathan who was like a brother to David and the LORD really spoke to my heart and my situation through this and comforted me out of His word. In the story Johnathan was like a brother to David and David loved Johnathan dearly. II Sam 1:25 David said that Johnathan was slain in his high places meaning that when Johnathan died, he was where the LORD intended for him to be, this reminded me that my grandma was in the LORD's hand. She trusted Him and believed the things He said to be true so He was with her where she was even in death. II Sam 1:26 David said "I am distressed for you my brother Johnathan, very pleasant have you been unto me, your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women, how are the mighty fallen!" He was in such distress and sadness for this brother who he loved so dearly, who was now gone. I understood David's heart and his mourning. I was broken for my grandmother knowing that her love was wonderful to me and how it would be so deeply missed. And, how are the mighty fallen...she was mighty! She endured a body that gave out on her long ago and still trusted that Yahuah was true even when she did not see healing, even when she could not get out of bed. Even though life was so not what she longed for it to be. Always talking of being pleasing to the LORD. She was mighty in battle! ISamuel 18:1-3 says; "The soul of Johnathan was knit with the soul of David and Johnathan loved him as his own soul..." Wow, what love he had for his brother, he loved him as if he were one with himself! The scripture says "the life of Johnathan was bound up with the life of David." Tied together.

When the LORD places a love in our hearts we become bound up, tied together and when we become separated the wound is great. My grandma asked the LORD to give her a little girl 44 years ago and He sent me to live with her. She always said I was a gift from God to her and she loved me. She always loved me no matter what I did or didn't do. She was not my Grandma by blood (that's a long story)but she bound herself to me and I was bound to her.

I Samuel 20:42 Johnathan tells David to "go in peace", for as much as they two had made a covenant and sworn in the name of the LORD (Yahuah), saying, "the LORD be between me and you and between my seed and your seed forever." Johnathan sends David off with a blessing basically and tells him to remain in peace even while they are physically separated because the LORD has bound them together forever and even their seed. I felt this to be a blessing to me also because it reminded me that the LORD wants me to be in peace even though we are apart. And even though we're apart we are still bound together, because of His promises of eternal life, forever! She trusted Him and tried to live the way He asks us to do. I trust Him and know that what He says is true. We have hope to be with the LORD and to be together again! The LORD has been good to me to comfort me by His word. I still miss her very much but I am thankful for His promises of life if we follow Him.