Computer Frustration

This one's for Corey and Megan....7 days without the internet because of computer hard drive issues then not being able to get wireless connection after getting their computer fixed...OM!!  Are you serious???  They  have been much more patient than I would be but I guess they are a LITTLE preoccuppodo with a new baby and all...go figure!  Anywho, I hope you guys can get your computer back on the straight and narrow soon.  Mean while, I gotta do some more stuff on the net...See ya later;) 


(Sorry, I couldn't resist;)

just for laughs:)

This is for all you deer hunters...this is how NOT to get a deer!!

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up — 3 of them.
I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it…it took a step away.
I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt.
A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer– no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.
I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer.
At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer’s momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn’t want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder – a little trap I had set before hand…kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go.
A deer bites you and shakes its head –almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly.
I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet.
They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal — like a horse -strikes at you with their hooves and you can’t get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work.
In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave.
I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

Haha, this is just a funny email that was circulating to the public and we got a "kick" out of it...no pun intended of coarse:)

The Card

Here are some pics of us helping Braelynne Faith make a card for her mom's birthday. O my. It was quite a battle to get her to lay her little hand flat. The foot didn't go too bad but the hand, Oooooh my goodness, the hand!!!!!!!!! She really couldn't see the need for spreading out her cute little fingers and placing them neatly on the piece of paper without trying to make a fist and crumpling up the paper, aaaahhh. O well, it is the thought that counts, right?

Look at those toes, they are the cutes toes. It's cute to look back and remember how tiny they were because they grow so fast.

As "B" says, "Happy Day". She learned that when she had her first birthday. She actually said happy birthday but I guess she's a girl who doesn't waste her time so she has shortened it down to Happy Day. Sometimes she kinda sings it. Sometimes she just says it. But she just wanted to tell her mom...Happy Day!

Just Pics

Here are a few funny pics the boys took of themselves on the computer. They're always doing something wild with the computer; being guys on the news, commercials and short movies. They are quite a hoot sometimes and we get quite a chuckle out of 'em. In the top pic, Tanner is the "fattest man". The second pic looks like it could be Caleb when he's about 16, The next one is when Tanner is ALL finished with school, and I think in the bottom one, Caleb looks a little like the lead singer from the beatles! Ha!

Just for fun!

The beauty of seeing yourself grow old

(This is good!)

I don't need any reminders that I'm getting old. I'm reminded every day when I can't remember what happened an hour ago, what I went into a room for, or call one of my kids by the wrong name. I used to be able to remember details from years ago, now I'm lucky if I can remember my own birth date.

If all that's not enough, the physical signs are starting to crop up-the tiny wrinkles and the body aches. I sometimes hurt in random places and have absolutely no explanation why. I get phantom pains that show up and go away just at quickly as they appeared, leaving me thinking that I am being prepared for something...maybe training for bigger aches and pains down the road.

Every now and then though, something happens that gives me just a glimmer of hope. Like yesterday morning when I woke up blind in one eye.

Doesn't sound like something that would pep me up, does it? Well, that's the way it worked out.

I got up at the normal time and stumbled to the bathroom, only banging into the wall once in the process, which was when I heard a strange tinkling sound. I immediately disregarded this sound because I do well just to find my way around the house at 5 a.m., and have no hope of solving any mysteries at such an early hour.

It was when I was exiting the bathroom that I discovered that my right eye had gone all wee-wonky. everything seemed very far away and fuzzy and, try as I might, I could not get that eye to focus.

"What now!?" I muttered to myself. Wasn't it enough that I had already been doomed to bifocals? Now this? I blinked the eye repeatedly, hoping to get some semblance of normal operation. I went through coffee-making and tuning in the weather channel on television using my good eye and a fair amount of yelling.

I learned that walking around with one eye closed can make you a little seasick and noted that if I kept my right eye half open the nausea abated, but caused the right eye to twitch uncontrollably.

Once I managed to find some form of function with one good eye and one fuzzy one, the morbid thoughts started to creep in. What was all this about, anyway? A symptom of a brain tumor? The beginnings of a cataract? No matter how I tried to focus on the weather, my thoughts were inexorably drawn to my mortality.

The next thing I knew I was thinking about all the things I was going to miss when this bad eye ultimately killed me- because I am a pessimist by nature and had convinced myself in the space of less than 10 minutes that I was dying. It was optical cancer or some never-heard- of rare and exotic disease that was causing this early symptom, and I would never see my grandkids or take that trip to Ireland that I've been planning. A great sadness set in when I came to the realization that my days were now of lesser number than they were yesterday. Now I had an inkling of what my future would be... and it was short.

But I still had to go to work.

So I set about getting ready; ironing my clothes, hunting for my shoes, waking up the kids and trying not to get choked up knowing that I would ultimately have to tell them that the old lady had one foot in the grave.

I made my way to the bathroom for my shower and it was then that I found the cause of the strange tinkling sound that I had heard earlier. There was what appeared to be a small rectangular piece of glass lying on the floor by the bathroom door. I squinted at it with my good eye trying to determine what it was and where it came from. It was only when I got down on my knees by the toilet and picked it up that I let out a hoop of relief. It was the right lens to my glasses. I guess when I smacked into the wall in my sleepy stupor I did it with enough force to pop the lens out.

Just to make sure, I reached for my glasses, where they sat faithfully on the bridge of my nose, and when my finger went right through the frame and I poked myself firmly in the eye, I knew I had solved the mystery and my heart soared.

Maybe I will see my grandkids. Maybe I will see Ireland. For the time being I was just rejoicing in the fact that I could see at all!!!

This story came from the "After the chores" section of COUNTRYSIDE Mag., written by CJ Mouser. I got my usual bi-monthly mag. one day and I was sitting reading this story to Craig, not something I usually do. We sat and laughed nearly thru the whole story... the wee-wonky eye, Ha! Maybe Craig could relate to the one eye thing but we can all related to the crazy thoughts that come into our heads sometimes.
I just wanted to share this story and even tho I've had it now for prob. a couple of years now, I still laught when I read it. Hope you liked it.

Just for laughs